Laos: Money Trouble

"Money, the root of all evil...but the cure for all sadness." -Mike Gill

LAOS: MONEY TROUBLE

Well I've arrived safe and well in Laos, with a bank account full of money - but no money in cash, and no way to access it.

The ticket I bought to get to Laos from Cambodia ended up costing more and more. As I left Cambodia I checked and double checked that the ticket included all necessary charges. I also checked that there were ATMs where I was going.

Of course the travel agent turned out to be lying. As I left the country, I had to pay a departure tax, and an exit tax (How are these different?), and when I arrived I had to pay an arrival tax and pay for a Visa. I was told several times that the cost of the Visa was included in the ticket. All lies. I was basically crying as I got into the country at the cost of it all - one weeks budget on one bloody journey.

And of course, despite repeated assurances to the contrary there are no ATMs here at all. Its like being in a 3rd world country. Oh, no wait a minute.

I have to say I'm pretty angry about the whole thing. I've spent eight hours going round every bank in this city (the second largest in the country, and a UN World Heritage site) and apparently no one can help me.
I know for a fact that money can be transferred in the capital, and as I have here my passport and card, I said that even if the banks here won't accept my card, then couldn't they just fax a copy of my passport and card number, along with confirmation that I match the photo, and the card matches my passport, and transfer the money that way? Apparently not. And I really have tried at every bank, asking to speak to the manager and generally creating a bit of a scene.

I kept stressing that there must be some way to get money to me, and I wasn't just going to live here and die of starvation out here, and that money would come eventually so they might as well try to help me.

The most annoying thing is that absolutely no one gives a shit about it out here. I keep saying that if they help me transfer money then I'm willing to give them some money as a thank you.
The whole thing is ridiculous. Take the one time I tried to ring a bank in the capital that would accept my card. I was told to do this at the bank, although they don't know the number. "Its not possible. We don't know the number" they told me, immediately after telling me to ring them.

"Well, surely you must be able to find out the number, somehow", I pleaded. I just couldn't believe that no equivalent to Directory Inquiries or the Yellow Pages existed. Apparently not. Although the National Telecom Information building is only half an hour down the road, so I hopped on a motorbike and went there. It turns out, (after a long wait), that they can only tell you certain phone numbers - ie those of Laos owned businesses. A business in Laos that is owned by a Thai businessman - such as the Thai bank in the Laos capital - they won't have the number for. Even though it is in Laos, and even though they are Laos National Telecom Information organization. Its just an absolute joke.

* * *

Eventually of course I managed to get some money from the bank - after two days of trying. The bank employees really don't have a clue about anything. They gave me a "Money to be received" form, in which I put all the details in. All well and good, except that half of the form is for me, and the other half says quite clearly "For Bank staff only". And it was written in both English and Laos. One of the sections in the "For Bank staff only" said: "Could the customer answer the security question correctly? Yes/No". I pointed out to the staff that this is clearly for them to ask me, not the other way round. I mean I'm hardly going to tick the No box and say that I'm not the person I claim to be. I

In Laos of course, it would be too complicated to have a currency that actually makes any sense. The largest note you can get is worth less than seventy pence in English money, and they don't have many of these "large notes". So most of the notes they gave me were the equivalent of 7p, or 0.7p, so I basically ended up with huge bundles of cash. So big in fact that I literally couldn't carry them in my hands, and I had to ask for a bag.

So they gave me a black bin liner.

It really is a bit silly. I mean, even taking into account the fact that things are cheaper here than in England, having such small notes just doesn't make any sense, and you see people wandering round with huge bundles of cash, paying thousand upon thousand of Kip to buy something really trivial like a banana.